Bribe me with chocolate chip cookies

01 March 2010

Venting of feelings - black fonts, highlight if u wanna see making-sweetness

Chinese New Year has passed, gloomy days for me are back. why is it that my only wish, to be able to get rid of the loneliness inside of me, was never fulfilled? all th t i wanted is to b happy in sch/class. i don't want to repeat what happened in my primary school life, is it really difficult? for some reasons my loneliness came back today after lunch. i became frustrated. i hate this. i know how it is to be, or rather how frustrating it would be, to be lonely. i don't want this to happen to anyone else.

now, in my current class, there is a certain person that everyone hates, she's sitting right beside me. her attitude and everything she does makes me hate her. but i still befriended her. why? there's only one reason. i don't want anyone to suffer the pain that i had to go through when i was primary 4, 5 and 6. even though i hate her, even though i despise her, i cant bring myself to leave her alone. i thought that she was the same, the same as me, a human. with a heart. with feelings. i know she would feel the same way as how i felt the last time when people does things that shows her they don't like her. i knew how it would feel because i have gone through it before. people just doesn't know how that person feels when they ignored her and all that. only those who had the same experience before will know it.

i admire Jessire, thankful to her too. why is that so? not because she's rich, not because of her so-called 'pet' cobra. ever since the day she said that she will not care about what other people's opinions are and befriend me, i immediately admired her. not caring about other people's opinion, that was always one thing that i can never do. i don't have enough courage to tell everyone who i really am, what i really want. what i want is not riches, pets, iPhones, whatever... i only wanted to be accepted by my friends, is it really too much for me to wish for just this?

# posted by Unknown | Monday, March 01, 2010